Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
