Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
