Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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