With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Found your dick twin last night
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
