Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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