No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
