If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize