I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
