I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
