I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
