fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
