so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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