I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
