I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
