Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
