im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
