Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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