Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
