I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
