haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
