Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
