Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Are we still banned from the library?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize