I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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