I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
