: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
