the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
