no, he came in my armpit
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
