Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
