Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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