Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
