Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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