what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
