FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
