hell yes lets make some ravioli
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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