she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The air was thick with penises
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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