I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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