Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize