hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
