You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
