Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i dont even know how to be here
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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