I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
