He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
