i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
