He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
