Buhtt sex?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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