Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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