It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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