I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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