just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish I only lived at night.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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