doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
