i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
