There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
