Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
