Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The air was thick with penises
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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