If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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