So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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