He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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