Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
