just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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