Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
