I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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