You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
