I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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